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Asking the Kind Way

Same want, better words

Play this lessonNarrated out loud. No account, works offline.

Also available in Spanish. The app stops after two lessons a day and suggests something to do away from the screen.

What it teaches

These are the lines the lesson comes back to, and the ones a child actually remembers afterwards.

Ask. Don't order.

Please gets you heard. Thank you gets you asked again.

How it starts

You can want the exact same thing, and get a completely different answer, just by changing the words that come out of your mouth. That is not a trick. That is how people work. Grown-ups do it to each other all day long.

How the lesson goes

What asking sounds like

  1. Can I… or May I…
  2. Please, in the middle
  3. Thank you, after

When the answer is no

  1. Say okay
  2. Ask why, calmly, one time
  3. Ask when instead of arguing

Your voice does half the work

  1. Whining makes people say no
  2. Yelling ends the conversation
  3. Normal voice gets a real answer

The question at the end

You want the tablet. Which one is asking?

For the grown-up

Every lesson ends by handing the child something to do off the screen, and telling you what was taught so you can use the same words.

Try this today: Ask a grown-up for something you actually want, out loud, using please. If the answer is no, say okay and ask when instead of arguing.

Then: Say thank you for listening, even if you didn't get it.

More in At Home

The whole library is free

Twenty-four narrated lessons for ages 4 to 9, in English and Spanish. No account, no sign-up, no ads, and nothing your child does in the app ever leaves the device — you can check that yourself with the network tab open. Open the lessons.